


Totally Baked

by makichansenpai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M, i totally just winged it, idk how it feels to be high, omg, pot brownies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 13:45:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6857437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makichansenpai/pseuds/makichansenpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo accidently makes pot brownies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Totally Baked

**Author's Note:**

> I legit looked up "how it feels to be high" and "things high people say"

Kuroo Tetsurou did something people would think is impossible. 

 

Kuroo Tetsurou _accidently_ made pot brownies, and had his boyfriend, Akaashi Keiji, eat some.

 

Now, how did Kuroo _accidently_ make pot brownies?  It's pretty simple if you think about it.  There's only one way for him to accidently to do something stupid.  His BFF, BBFL (Best Bro For Life), and brofriend, Bokuto Koutarou, bought weed for them to try out. 

 

Kuroo was at Bokuto's place trying out the weed.  It made him feel good, and a bit hungry.  He rummaged through Bokuto's fridge, only to find that it was empty.  _How does this idiot even survive when he has no food?_   Kuroo thought.  He went back to tell Bokuto that he was hungry, and that they should order some take out.  Kuroo found Bokuto sprawled out on the floor snoozing away.  He shrugged, and left his bro on the floor.  Kuroo locked the door on his way out, and went back to his apartment.

 

Once he was back home, Kuroo emptied his pockets.  He put his keys, cellphone, and a small bag of weed on top of the counter.  He scavenged the fridge and cabinets, but couldn't find anything easy to make. So he decided to make some brownies with the mix he had found.  Kuroo was mixing the brownie mix when his eyes landed on the small bag of weed.  He smiled to himself and giggled.  He put the whole bag of weed into the brownie mix.  He mixed it well, and poured it into a baking pan.  He then put the mix into the oven at 350 degrees, and set the timer for 30 minutes.

 

Kuroo watched some TV while he was waiting.  He settled on the news channel.  Occasionally, he would laugh, cry, or throw a fit when all he was watching was the swirly things on the weather map.  Kuroo was like that for the whole 30 minutes.  Once time was up, he went to the oven and took out the brownies.  He turned off the oven and set the brownies to the side for them to cool.

 

Kuroo suddenly felt uncomfortable in the clothes he was wearing so he went back into his room to change.  He had taken off his shirt, and changed his skinny jeans for a pair of jogging shorts.  He walked out of his room, and saw that Akaashi was back.  He smiled to himself, and tiptoed towards his boyfriend for a surprise hug.  Before Kuroo got to hug Akaashi, Akaashi spun around and smiled at Kuroo.  Kuroo froze in place.  It wasn't often when Akaashi would smile.  He then noticed that Akaashi had a piece of the brownies he made.

 

"These are really good Kuroo." Akaashi said while stuffing the brownie piece into his mouth.

 

"Yeah?  We should eat them together." Kuroo said with a lazy smile.  Akaashi nodded in agreement.  He cut the rest of the brownie, and carried it to the living room.  Kuroo followed behind.

 

Another 30 minutes later, Akaashi and Kuroo were a giggling mess.  For 10 minutes they were talking gibberish.  Asking things like, "Why is the ocean blue, when water is clear?" or "where are we?" or "are we in space?" Occasionally, they would state things like, "I can't feel the air" or "my hair feels like a fluffy cat." 

 

Eventually, the two started a pickup line war.

 

Kuroo laughs, "You… you must be… uhh… you must be one hell of a thief… cuz… shit… ummm.. Oh! Cuz you stole my heart from…" Kuroo furrows his eyebrows, "ummm… from… shit… where did you steal my heart from?"

 

Akaashi giggles, "pfft… you call that a pickup line?"

 

"I'd like to see you try!" Kuroo yells.

 

"Honestly Kuroo… you must be the reason men fall in love… with… men." Akaashi squints, trying to make sense of what he said.

 

Kuroo gapes at Akaashi, "That was a good one, but you should definitely let me tie your shoelaces because I don't want you falling for anyone else."

 

Akaashi snorts, "I can tie my shoelaces myself, and I'll fall for whoever I want to." He glances at Kuroo's abs, "But if you're advertising, I'm definitely buying."

 

Kuroo laughs, "You know Akaashi… we should, like, totally go out or something."

 

"But Kuroo… we're already dating." Akashi deadpans.

 

Kuroo's eyes widen, "Really?" Akaashi nods. "Then you should know that my lips can't kiss themselves."

 

Akaashi giggles and leans towards Kuroo.  The two were so high that they nearly missed each other's lips.  The kiss was off and they giggled.  They repositioned their heads, and tried again.  They got it right this time. Kuroo could feel an electric current run through him.  After a couple minutes of making out, the two had passed out.

 

~~

 

The next morning, Kuroo and Akaashi woke up. 

 

"Why are we on the floor?" Akaashi asked.

 

Kuroo shrugged, "I don't know, but I feel like shit."

 

"You're telling me? What happened yesterday?" Akaashi asks.

 

Kuroo tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows, "I… I can't remember.  I don't even remember getting home, and why am I shirtless?!"

 

Akaashi shrugs, "All I remember is that I was coming home from the library, and there were brownies.  I don't remember anything after that."

 

Akaashi and Kuroo sat on the floor, and tried to remember what had happened for a few minutes.

 

Kuroo groans, "We can think about it later.  Let's eat. I'm starving."

 

Akaashi hums, "Yeah. I'm pretty hungry too.  Let's go."

 

Kuroo whoops and leaves to put on a shirt.  When he's done, the two leave to get breakfast.  The events of the previous day slowly slipping from their minds.

**Author's Note:**

> What happened to Bokuto? *shrugs* I have no idea.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this! I thought that this would be a good way to start my kuroaka obsession before I destroy them with angst.  
> Be prepared!!! 
> 
> Leave comments and kudos are appreciated!! <3
> 
> tumblr @maki-chan-senpai


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